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The “bumblebee” one.

The change strip. Please, just stop wearing it.

You know that feeling you get when you’ve had a pair of shoes for just that little bit too long? When you get some new ones, you’ll compare them with what you had on previously. You’ll think, “God, I can’t believe I wore those clapped-out old baffies.”

That’s how you’ll feel when you put that strip where it belongs – the bin.

We’ve felt some pain before with that strip on. But even if you’re not superstitious, then on a purely aesthetic level, it surely gives you the boak. I mean seriously: would you go on a night out with that on?

(Maybe you shouldn’t answer that one.)

It’s synonymous with failure, with falling short. Does no-one remember how they felt in May 1997 after its first run? 

Why did we bring it back in the first place? Misplaced nostalgia for the Tommy Burns era? For another time when we did not triumph?

Either we have short memories or no taste at all. Our memories of Tommy Burns are dear things, and they are not… tied up… with that… fucking… strip.

And so this week, we wore it again. To another away European tie when we had no need to wear it other than to sell more of these miserable articles. And we got tonked, again.

FC Braga played in red – why weren’t we in the Hoops? You know, our world-famous strip?

This follows on from other away-strip away-day Champions League nightmares, including two trips to Old Trafford (another team which plays in red) and one to the Emirates (bit of white on their strip, fair play, but still mostly red). We played alright in patches in those matches, but we lost the lot.

Here’s an idea – for European games, both big and small, why don’t we wear our proper strip whenever we can? You know, for a bit of brand recognition? And – don’t laugh – maybe to remind people of the times when were pretty useful at this football business?

Please. Just bin that strip. Never bring it back.

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